Have a Child's Mindset

When you think about children of the toddler age, or are blessed to experience them yourself, you come to a realization that they are always on the move, never wanting to stop. They go through each day with more enthusiasm than a grown up can ever imagine and never tire. They coast through their early years often with no real trouble and usually with a smile on their faces. Children seem to have something about them that we as grownups lost somewhere along the line. They have the ability to forgive quickly, not really worry about things and get frustrated over things, and just enjoy the simple things in life, while never taking them for granted. They never hold grudges and never hold resentments against someone, and if for some strange reason they do, they are playing and interacting with them the next day on the playground. I had experiences with my two daughters when I walked in their room and they were in their cribs. They would jump up and down, screaming with happiness and great big smiles on their faces. I often wondered what they were smiling and happy about? Was it their birthday? Was it Christmas? Were we leaving on vacation to Disney?? The answer to those questions is No... It was not their birthday, nor was it Christmas and we were not going to Disney... They were just excited about the dawning of a new day. They are happy to embrace a new day and cannot wait to start it! That is where I started to think... I thought to myself... Why can't adults behave like this? When did we lose this zest for life? Can we get it back and keep it? Too many times as adults, we forget how to live our lives happily and the days seem to slip on by. Sometimes people tend to mope around, sadly to say, over a variety of things that are out of their control like the weather, or something that happened to them in the past, or even something as silly as someone talking about them at the water cooler. Sometimes, people live not just one day like this, but many. They do not know that they cannot get that day or days back... Ever! They repeatedly sob and sulk and in the interim, try to bring others to their level. We are not on this earth to be miserable. We are on it for reasons: To take each day and make the best out of it. To face new challenges and grow from them. To spill over our joy and happiness in the event that someone else will be infected by it. We and our emotions are contagious to the people that surround us, be it strangers or loved ones. Like the children that are on this planet, we need to seize the day. We are not on this earth for infinity, but only for a short time. Today, go back to when you were a child and live without the troublesome melancholy that can seem to swallow you up at times. When you wake in the morning, don't be grumpy and sad because it is too early. Spring out of that bed and hit the floor running like the children do. Make your whole day a game of sorts, and when tomorrow comes, play it again but this time, do it better. Life comes at you very fast and when it does, you have to be ready. Before you know it, your children will have children and your time on this earth will be coming to an end. I do not know about you, but I always want to have the mental freedom of a child and will play this game of life daily. I will reflect back on my losses and not fret about them, but seek the knowledge I need so it never happens again. What can I say? I do not want to grow up. --- Copyright © 2010 Rich Barnes

Ways to Stop Depression And burn Out

Three Ways To Stop Depression And Burn-Out

Our culture seems to be experiencing an epidemic of problems such as depression and burnout, with estimates of more than 10% each year being common.

In my practice as a medical doctor and now as I moved into psychological therapy exclusively, people have come to me with different levels of these problems, from depression bad enough to be actively planning suicide, to more vague thoughts of whether it is worth going on with it all.

Sometimes it's been more about losing confidence with what they are doing, or even having full-on panic attacks. As I've explored their situations I've found there are 3 key factors to stopping their state of depression and feeling burn-out.

1) Set goals with a pre-determined end point -- Life and work can't just be an endless marathon. You need to have sprints as well as rest periods, and have some finish lines along the way. Otherwise the only rest you get is when you collapse from exhaustion, and it's better if you can do that on the other side of a finish line.

Whether you label it a milestone, or a step in the journey, or an exit strategy, you do need to acknowledge the ebb and flow of your motivation and interest and worth with it rather than against it. Even a seemingly powerful motivator such as having more money, can become burnt out when more and more is still never enough because you haven't defined what you want that money to bring you.

2) Have a bigger purpose in mind -- Life is not just about filling your days with whatever happens to get your attention, and yet there is so much around to choose from. With a bigger purpose you can select what is important for you, or it can be the other way around, what is important to you can be your bigger purpose.

Now it doesn't have to be an overly grand purpose, like solving world poverty. It does however need to be something that brings out the passion in you to help you take the day-to-day bumps and the obstacles that are in your way.

Many people can go on for quite a while without asking or finding an answer to the bigger purpose question, because it's only when things get really tough that you can realize you needed that answer. If you don't have a bigger purpose right now then as long as you're happy you're fine. Life will give you setbacks that let you show how badly you want something, and then you'll discover what is really important to you.

3) Create results that last beyond that day -- This is the most important one in my experience as a counselor. You need to build some cumulative benefits to the work you do each day. Otherwise every day is starting from scratch yet again, and it will just feel like you are "never getting anywhere", because you truly won't be. 

For example, if you are earning money but spending it or going deeper into debt just as fast, are you better off financially than if you just stayed in bed?

Sometimes it is merely about paying attention to the long-term benefit of what you are already creating. More commonly however you really need to change what you are doing so that on a daily basis you are producing money that you keep, sources of passive rather than active income, habits rather than Band-Aids, prevention rather than fire-fighting, relationships rather than one-off transactions. This way you can sleep knowing you have more to wake up to the next day.

Each of these 3 aspects are vital. Missing even one of them will give you more stress than you need, and if you don't have any of them then you are very likely to be reading this because you are really needing help, starting with these 3 changes. Begin today.

--- Copyright © 2007 Dr. Martin Russell 
Getting stuck at some stage in your life is almost guaranteed to happen. It's all a matter of finding the expertise you need, and you might discover it is at: www.DrMartinRussell.com 

Learning to Say No

It's Okay To Say No

Are you the type of person who always says yes? I've come to learn that it is very important to learn to say NO!! It's okay. People are still going to like you. They may even respect you more because they know you are being authentic.

I'm not saying to say no to someone who really needs your help. I'm talking about turning down that meeting that you really do not want to attend or that birthday party that you don't want to be a guest at because it's the same weekend as your sister's shower or the Playoffs.

Think for a moment how you feel when you say YES to something that you really don't want to do. If you're like I once was, you can't sleep at night and you think about it way too much. It weighs on your mind. You try to find ways out. You start thinking “oh it's not so bad, it will make him/her happy”. “Maybe I'll have fun”. “Maybe I won't be bored”. Whatever it is that you're saying to yourself, if you really wanted to go, you wouldn't have all of these thoughts.

So, why not just say NO from the beginning? Perhaps out of guilt. I am here to tell you that you have to leave guilt in the past. The past is not meant to be part of the present.

Maybe you feel like if you don't show up at the meeting (that by the way, is not a mandatory one) your boss isn't going to like you or your co-workers won't respect you. You need to do what is right for you. Of course we do have real obligations in life to fulfill but we do not have to do everything, everyone wants us to do. Do you feel as if you can breathe already, just hearing that?

Maybe you feel like your daughter won't call you anymore if you don't give her money every time she calls and asks for it, even though that's the only time she calls.

Maybe you feel like your son won't communicate with you as much if you don't listen to his whining for hours and hours on end, about the same thing, over and over again.

Maybe you feel as if your mom, dad or siblings won't love you as much if you don't do everything for them that they ask or attend every occasion.

If these people are your true friends, family members, or a good boss, they will like or love you the same no matter what. People treat you the way you teach them to, and if you're someone who always says yes then that's what they're expecting.

I learned you can say NO!!

Do what feels right for you. Be authentic. If you don't like a certain kind of music, don't go to that concert. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't compromise if someone does something you like and you want to reciprocate. Sometimes relationships need compromise. I'm just saying don't say yes to everything.

Do you buy Girl Scout cookies from every friend's daughter? Do you buy chocolate bars from every Boy Scout that you know? It's fine if you really want them and can afford them but do you buy them just out of obligation? This is what I mean.

Learn how to say no. IT'S OKAY! If a friend comes to you and says, 'Hey, I need $100.00 until Friday.' Do you give it to them even though you are going to be short of cash and you don't know how you're going to get through the week, and now your bills are late? I'm here to say you do not have to.

IT'S OKAY TO SAY NO!!

--- Copyright © 2011 Marion Licchiello-Lenz 

Marion Licchiello-Lenz is a Writer, Self Empowerment Coach and an Intuitive Coach. She blogs for the Poughkeepsie Journal about getting motivated, staying positive, and getting fit.

In addition, you can find her as a feature writer at Country Courier magazine. Her weekly articles follow her accomplishments, trials and tribulations with being, getting and staying healthy - mind, body and spirit. For coaching sessions or intuitive readings (with or without coaching and guidance), or if you have any questions feel free to call Marion at (845) 596-2990 or visit her website at:http://www.GetMotivatedWithMarion.com

Knocking Out Procastination

"I know what to do. I recognize the benefits of doing it. I understand the negative consequences of not doing it. I have the competence and resources to do it. But I still don't do it."

Does this story sound very familiar?

I am sure you will agree with me that we all encounter postponements that keep us from doing what is critical for our success. We cannot always control what happens to us but we can always exercise control over how it will impact us. We do not have to let delays defeat us. We don't have to give into these energy suckers and become a victim of procrastination.

Why should we leave ourselves at the mercy of 'The Guilt of the Incomplete'? But first the question arises, why do we do that?

WHY DO WE Procrastinate?

Before we discover a treatment for this universal disease, 'procrastination', let us look at some of the reasons behind it.

1. Waiting for the right mood
   You don't feel like doing it. Your mood is o_ and you are emotionally down.
   
2. Waiting for the right time
   You don't think that it is the right time to take action, when actually it is.
   
3. Lack of clear goals
   How can you feel inclined to do it when the goal is not clear?
   
4. Underestimating the difficulty of the task
   You thought doing it was no big deal, but when you started you realized that you would have to put in much more effort than you first thought. So why not postpone it for now?
   
5. Unclear standards for the task outcomes
   You started but did not have an idea about exactly what was expected. You did not know the performance criteria.
   
6. Feeling the task is imposed on you
   When you think you have to do it, your motivation is reduced. Your heart and mind are not fully involved.
   
7. The task is too ambiguous
   You finally got around to doing it but the task was too vague, unclear and blurred. Then you did not find good reason to continue.
   
8. Fear
   'I don't think I can do it; if I go ahead I will not succeed.'
   
9. Perfectionism
   'I don't have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly, so I won't do it at all.'

FROM INACTION TO ACTION

After acquiring all the tools, techniques and strategies, why do people not put into use what they know? Why do people choose inaction instead of taking action? We have identified some psychological fears. These fears suppress your inventiveness; your talents and resources remain hidden, undeveloped and untapped. These fears include: 

1. Fear of failure
   If I were unsuccessful, how would I handle the embarrassment? It's better not to show up for this presentation. Let's procrastinate.
   
2. Fear of success
   If I do it this time, people will expect me to do it again. Will I be able to handle the pressure that comes with success?
   
3. Fear of the status quo
   If the status quo is disturbed, who knows how the new situation will turn out? Let's maintain things as they are. Why take a risk?
   
4. Fear of perfection
   If I started it now, I would not complete it until I achieved a level of perfection. Do I have time for perfection?
   
5. Fear of loss
   If I did it now, I might end up losing out on a few things.

RECOGNIZE THAT YOU'RE PROCRASTINATING

How would you recognize in yourself the symptoms of procrastination?

• Filling your day with low priority tasks from your To Do list
  
• Reading an e-mail more than once, without starting work on it
  
• Starting work on a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to make yourself a cup of coffee or check your e-mails
  
• Leaving an item on your To Do list undone for a long time, even though you know it's important
  
• Regularly saying 'Yes' and filling up your time with unimportant tasks

Why you procrastinate can depend on both you and the task. They can often be reduced to two main reasons:

1. You find the task unpleasant; or
   
2. You find the task overwhelming

Now that you know the symptoms and reasons for procrastinating, the question is how do you crush procrastination? How do you knock it out?

ANTI-Procrastination FORMULA 

The 'taal-matool' attitude or syndrome has the potential to negatively impact your results, success and even your entire life. I have created a strategy to defeat procrastination and build results faster.

I call it the IMAN TECHNIQUE. 

I 
M ust 
A ct 
N OW

So, are you ready to act now?


--- Copyright © 2011 Qaiser Abbas 
Qaiser Abbas is a best-selling author, motivational speaker, high-energy trainer and successful entrepreneur. He is the founder and Chief Inspiring Officer of Possibilities, a leading Management Training & Consulting Company, operating internationally with the head office in Pakistan. Some of his key clients include P&G, Motorola, Gillette, ORIX, OMV, Reckitt Benckiser, Mobilink, Coca Cola, FMC, Nokia-Siemens, ICI, Ufone and Unilever.

Qaiser is a regular columnist in various nationwide magazines and newspapers and ranked among the best motivational writers of Pakistan.

How to Tell when you are rich

When I was a kid, watermelons were a delicacy. One of my father's buddies, Uncle Ramon, was a prosperous fruit-and-vegetable wholesaler who operated a warehouse in the province.


Every summer, when the first watermelons rolled in, Uncle Ramon would call. Father and I would go to Uncle Ramon's warehouse and take up our positions. We would sit on the edge of the dock, feet dangling, and lean over to minimize the volume of juice we were about to spill on ourselves.


Uncle Ramon would take his machete, crack our first watermelon, hand us both a big piece and sit down next to us. Then, we would bury our faces in watermelon eating only the heart -- the reddest, juiciest, firmest most seed-free, the perfect part -- and throw away the rest.


Uncle Ramon was my father's idea of a rich man. I always thought it was due to his being such a successful businessman. Years later, I realized that what my father admired about Uncle Ramon's wealth was less its substance than its application. He knew how to stop working, get together with friends and eat only the heart of the watermelon.


What I learned from Uncle Ramon is that being rich is a state of mind. Some of us, no amtter how much money we have, will never be free enough to eat only the heart of the watermelon. Other are rich without ever being more than a paycheck ahead.


If you do not take the time to dangle your feet over the dock and chomp into life's small pleasures. your career is probably overwhelming your life.


For many years, I forgot that lesson I had learned as a kid on the loading dock. I was too busy making all the money I could make.


Well I had relearned it. I hope I have time left to enjoy the accomplishments of others and to take pleasure in the day. That is the heart of the watermelon. I have learned again to throw the rest away.


Finally, I am rich.


-ADAPTED-

It is up to you

It is up to you

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can make a dream.

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea.

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,

One word must start a prayer,

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what's true,

One life can make the difference,

You see, it's up to you.

I believe...

I believe no matter what, God's always been my soft place to land when life's roads get bumpy and I stumble and fall. He not only cushions my fall but revives my spirit with an abundance of mercy and love. Where can I go that Your love does not reach? Your presence is everywhere and Your love blankets me, protecting me from life's storms. You are truly a safe harbor for my soul. This knowledge is what keeps me at your feet, O Lord. My prayer as always being... Father I love You. All I have is Yours. Yours I am, Yours I want to be, do with me what You will.